Private Pleasures [The Doms of Sybaris Cove 8] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Read online

  Clay had been charming, too. The few times she’d seen a hint of his temper during their extended courtship, he’d chalked it up to stress at work. Because she’d been so swept off her feet, she chose to believe his excuses.

  Both psychologists here on Sybaris Cove had told her the same thing. Because of what she’d grown up with in her own home, Clay’s behavior was the norm for her. It was all she knew and understood. While Mattie could accept that on an intellectual level, she’d now reached the point where she didn’t want to accept abusive behavior as the norm, or as anything other than what it was—unacceptable. She wanted no part of it. She longed to shed her past for good and move forward.

  Would that ever truly be possible? Even with a man she’d known her entire life, and who she knew would never treat her the way Clay had done?

  Felipe’s home was set on one of the hills overlooking the town, as were most homes belonging to the Durantes and Raleighs. She’d expected it to be pretentious, but it wasn’t. While it was certainly large enough to comfortably house her entire extended family, it wasn’t decorated in an over-the-top way with items clearly designed to show off his wealth, the way her in-laws’ home had been.

  He didn’t even offer her a tour, which she liked. To him, it was a house, not a museum or something to show off to the peasants. She’d always hated the way Clay’s family and friends had to show everyone through their homes the moment they stepped inside, as if being invited inside was a privilege.

  Mattie took a deep breath. This felt like a place where someone lived, not merely a building the owners filled with possessions. It had a comfortable, peaceful, and contented aura.

  “Babs is up here.” He led them upstairs and to a bedroom she assumed was his because it had his scent, and was clearly a master suite. “I keep her in what was designed to be a sitting room. I always thought that was kind of silly. The house is full of places to sit. I don’t need a special room for that.”

  Mattie smiled, and she realized for the first time that she hadn’t done much of that this evening. “I love that.”

  He frowned in confusion.

  “What you just said about the name of the room. And I totally agree. I’ve always thought it was silly how people name their rooms using verbs. Sitting room, drawing room, gathering room, et cetera.”

  He and Rey both laughed, and then she asked Felipe if he had designed and built the home.

  “No, this was one of the homes that Mendo, my paternal grandfather, built for his children and grandchildren. My Aunt Beth lives two doors down.”

  “And I live next to her,” said Rey, “in a home built by Bernard, my paternal grandfather.”

  “My grandfather decorated it, too,” said Felipe. “I haven’t added too many things to it, but I have had the walls and flooring updated a bit since then. It was built in the sixties and still looked it when I moved in.”

  “It’s a beautiful home.”

  He seemed so unaffected by the splendor of it, but she imagined that was because he’d grown up like this. Babs was awake when they approached her aquarium, and wasn’t as listless as Bruce had been, but Mattie sensed her need for company by the way she moved toward them as they walked into the room.

  “Hey there,” said Felipe, squatting so he was eye level with the lizard. “You’re going to have a boyfriend soon. We just have to figure out whose home you’ll be in.”

  “Do you think it matters which gender gets moved?” asked Rey. “I mean, will that affect her babies at all if suddenly she’s in a different house with a male she doesn’t know?”

  “I honestly don’t know. I wish I could give you both concrete information that would help with this decision.”

  “Does she look okay to you?” asked Felipe.

  “She’s a bit listless.”

  She watched both men talk to Babs and stroke her, and suddenly the idea came to her. It was perfect, but would they go for it? “I can take them if you want.” They both turned to face her at the same time, with identical expressions of surprise on their faces, and she nearly laughed because of it. “My place isn’t big but there’s a spare bedroom where I can put a larger aquarium so they’d both have plenty of room. I have one at the clinic we can pick up. And that way I can keep an eye on them and the eggs. And you two can visit anytime you want.”

  They exchanged a glance, and then they stood. “Great idea,” said Rey. “Honestly. That makes perfect sense.”

  “But you’re sure you don’t mind?” asked Felipe.

  “Of course not. We can think of this as a science experiment.” And she’d just ensured that both men would have a reason to come to her condo quite often. Had that been purposeful?

  Vivian Faust and Joe Boyd would both say that’s exactly what she’d done. Both therapists had already pointed out that she could have gone anywhere in the country with her degree and the money she’d been awarded in the divorce. But in coming home, she’d taken an important step in healing. Not only did she have the pain from her marriage to work through, but her home life as a teen.

  But had she also just given Rey and Felipe an easier way to pursue her? Had that been her unconscious intention? The agamas didn’t need to be with her. She could just as easily keep an eye on Babs and her future eggs in either Rey’s or Felipe’s home.

  As Mattie tried to figure out why she’d just offered her home to both the lizards and the men, they carried Babs and her living quarters out to Felipe’s Jeep to make the ride over to Rey’s house to pick up Bruce and his aquarium. From there, they would stop by the clinic to pick up the larger aquarium, and then take everything to her condo.

  This had to be the weirdest date any of them had ever been on. It was certainly unlike any other she’d been on, but she was having a great time. It was so refreshing not to have that awkward Will he kiss me? moment, or the Does he want to have sex? question running around her brain right now. Mattie only hoped the guys were enjoying this evening as much as she was.

  Chapter Five

  Once they had both agamas set up in their new aquarium at Mattie’s condo, she watched for a few moments to make sure Bruce and Babs weren’t going to hurt each other, and then gave them their privacy. It was nice to know that someone inside these walls would be having sex tonight.

  On the heels of that thought, images of her with Rey and Felipe raced through her mind. She tried to make sense of the conflicting emotions that went along with them, but that was difficult to do with both men still in her living room, watching something sports-related on TV. They looked so damn comfortable and sexy like that, just as if they did this every evening.

  She asked if they wanted anything to drink, but both declined, and then Rey patted the space between them. “Come and sit with us. You shouldn’t have to play vet in your own home.”

  She took a seat. “I don’t mind. Your lizards are already going at it, by the way.”

  “That was fast,” said Felipe.

  Mattie didn’t answer. There was nothing she could say that wouldn’t set off a barrage of sexual innuendos, and she wasn’t sure she could handle that right now. She was torn between telling them she was tired and wanted to get some sleep, and asking if they could both spend the night. The thought of even trying to have a normal, healthy, adult relationship with a man again both excited and terrified her.

  Was she ready to try? Would she ever be? “What are we watching?” she asked.

  “ESPN,” said Rey. “Is that okay? Just catching up on scores.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Do you have to work tomorrow? I hadn’t thought about that.”

  She shook her head. “I kept all the other vets and techs on when I took over the practice. Callie works part-time, and always takes care of Saturdays for us.”

  “So you’re free until Monday.”

  She moved to the coffee table so she could face both of them, even though she knew by doing so she’d block the TV screen. “I am. And, I’m ready to talk. That is, if you don’t mind turn
ing off ESPN for now.” If she didn’t get this out now, she never would.

  They both reached for the remote at the same time, sending it skittering off the sofa. It landed on the floor in front of her. She picked it up, turned, and shut off the TV. Then she took a deep breath and clasped her hands in her lap.

  There was no point in delaying this. If there was even a shred of hope that her relationship with them would ever progress beyond friends, they first had to know what had happened to her. “Okay. Not sure where to start. There are a lot of rumors going around. I’ve heard them all. But first I need to ask a question that something we talked about at dinner brought up.”

  She cut her gaze toward Felipe. “You said part of your sales territory is Alabama, and I know that Bitsy-Grant Communications owns Schoolgirl Paddles. As far as I know, it’s the only fetish shop they own. What I don’t know is whether they have a contract with Phoebe’s Playthings, but I know they’re located in Birmingham. Clay handles contracts for his family company, so…do you know my ex-husband?”

  “Yes, but only by e-mail and fax. We’ve never spoken on the phone, and obviously haven’t met in person.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t tried to skirt the issue. “Thank you for being honest.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I was going to tell you eventually, but was waiting for an appropriate time to bring it up.”

  She nodded. “That makes sense. So, okay. Back to the rumors floating around.” She could do this. Whether or not her relationship with either of these men stayed in the realm of friendship only or progressed beyond that, if they didn’t start out with complete honesty, they wouldn’t get far. She’d had enough of being lied to and tricked by a man to last two lifetimes. This time, no matter what did or didn’t happen, she wanted everything out in the open beforehand.

  “I don’t know specifically what you’ve heard, but this didn’t start with my marriage. It started when I was twelve and my Uncle Maynard came to live with us.”

  “I remember him,” said Rey. “He was your mother’s brother, right?”

  She nodded. “Yes. My mother’s family is from Alabama, but not Huntsville or Madison. They’re from the Mobile area.” And about as far away from the world that Clay lived in as possible. “My uncle ran into some trouble with the law back home, and then with creditors. Supposedly, he was only coming to stay for a while until he got back on his feet, but of course that temporary situation turned permanent.”

  She’d only told her therapists this story. As far as she knew, no one else on the island was aware of it. What was it about these two that made her trust them so much? Whatever it was, she knew it was all right to keep going. They’d been good friends once. At the very least, she still had that with them. That much was obvious, and Mattie was thrilled to realize it.

  “You can’t say anything about this to anyone. Obviously my uncle can’t hurt anyone else now, but the rest of my family still has to live here.” Her uncle had died of a shark bite while she was living in Alabama.

  “We won’t,” said Felipe. “I promise.”

  “He…God. How do I say this? He started sexually abusing my mother almost as soon as he arrived. Apparently he’d done it before, when they were teens. She never told anyone back then, and she was obviously still in big-time denial. But then he started up again in our home, on the nights my father worked.” Her father still worked nights in the hospital as a respiratory therapist. “He never knew. He still doesn’t, as far as I know. She refused to tell him, and she put the fear of God into us never to say anything to him or to anyone else.”

  Both men stared at her, and from the expressions on their faces, she was sure one or both were going to be sick.

  Rey ran his hand over his face. “Did he…did he do this to you, too?”

  “Me? No.” She shook her head. “Never. Only my mother.”

  “Thank God.”

  “But we could hear it. The house isn’t that large or well-built. I started sleeping with music on, but I knew it was going on anyway.”

  “No wonder you couldn’t wait to get off this island,” said Felipe.

  “Yes. I realize that was a huge part of it. But I had my heart set on veterinary college before Uncle Maynard came to live with us. I would have left regardless. However, that is one huge reason I never wanted to come back home. By the time he died, I was already involved with Clay.”

  “What are the other reasons?” asked Rey.

  If she told them, she’d also have to admit her feelings for them had never changed, and had always gone beyond friendship. She wasn’t sure it was the right time for that, despite getting all this off her chest finally. “Well, it’s all mixed up now. I never wanted to have to make a choice, if that makes sense. Most of the men on this island can’t leave it because of the curse. And the rest of them…I didn’t want to leave anyone behind, or force them into a choice they might not want to make.”

  “You always had so many guys hanging around in high school.” Rey cut his gaze toward Felipe for a second. “We assumed they were your boyfriends.”

  She shook her head. “I worked hard to make everyone think I was happy and popular, didn’t I? It was a sham. All of it.” Just saying this was liberating. Renewed energy surged through her, filling her with a desire to tell them all of it. They would understand. She was certain of it. “I didn’t date. Or at least, nothing serious. I never even had sex in high school. All I focused on was getting away to college. On leaving Sybaris Cove and all the crap I associated with it.”

  “You said your mother made sure none of you told anyone what your uncle was doing to her,” said Felipe. “Does that mean you did try and discuss it with her?”

  “I tried more than once but was shut down every time. Since I’ve returned, we’ve talked about it at length. She tries to justify it and I try not to put my fist through a wall when she does.”

  “I’m so sorry. That is very fucked up.”

  “Big time. But I can’t make the choice for her. She’s the one who will seek help one day, and tell my Dad, or not.”

  “So after you graduated, it was off to Georgia for college, right?” asked Felipe.

  She sighed. Just keep going. One event after the other. She could do this. “Yes. I earned both my undergrad degree and my veterinary degree from the University of Georgia. I met Clay while I was an undergrad. It was the summer before my senior year, and he was a graduate student in Alabama by then, on the campus in Georgia all week for some sort of symposium involving MBA candidates. We met by accident when he spilled coffee all over me in line at the cafeteria.”

  “Oh, subtle.”

  She smiled at the sarcasm in Felipe’s voice. “Yeah. I’ve always wondered exactly how much of an accident that was. But he did pay to have my clothes dry-cleaned, and we ended up in his dorm room that night, just talking and eating pizza. They housed the students from the visiting schools in one of the newer dorms for that week, and since it was summertime, hardly anyone was there. I didn’t come home in the summers. I took extra classes. Any excuse to stay on the mainland.”

  Felipe and Rey exchanged a glance. “So, it was love at first sight?” asked Rey.

  She shook her head. “Not love. Infatuation, curiosity, and probably more than a bit of being starstruck once I researched his family’s corporation. I was flattered he paid so much attention to me, and impressed that he hadn’t tried to hit on me that first night.”

  Rey made a noise that was suspiciously close to a laugh.

  “I know what you’re thinking, and I agree. It was an act, but I didn’t see it then. There were no alarm bells or red flags. I wish I could say there were. I wish I could tell you that I had doubts at first, but I didn’t. He seemed too good to be true, but then…” She sighed. This had to be said. “Then, so do most of the Durante and Raleigh men on this island, including you two. You’re all gorgeous, and most of you are funny and charming. It’s hard not to fall under your spell, especially when you grow up here
, with so many of you around.”

  “Did Clay remind you of the men here, then?” asked Felipe.

  “In some ways he did. We were friends first, before we ever had sex. We had a long-distance relationship for five years. I had to get through vet school, and then once I did, I came to Alabama to work so I could be closer to him.”

  “And in all that time you had no clue who he really was?” asked Rey.

  His voice didn’t indicate doubt, only incredulity. “I wish I could say I did, but no. I honestly didn’t see it. The few times he was angry or seemed to overreact, I chalked it up to stress or extreme tiredness. He didn’t…”

  She closed her eyes for a few seconds. Just keep breathing and talking. “He didn’t hit me until after we were married for several months. By then, I was knee-deep in student debt, working for far less than I deserved to make, and his family had woven their toxic way into our lives. I spent most of my free time dealing with their constant interference in our day-to-day routine, and the rest of it wondering how the hell I was ever going to make enough money to pay off my student loans.”

  “Why didn’t you leave after he hit you?”

  Rey’s question was a legitimate one. She should have done that. Mattie knew that now. But she’d listened to her uncle rape her mother in the room down the hall for years and had done nothing about it. How could anyone understand that when she didn’t understand it herself? She should have called the cops. She should have told her father, or another adult. But she’d done nothing. Absolutely nothing.

  “Clay had never done anything like that, and I believed him when he said he never would again. He actually cried when he apologized, and it was the first and only time I had seen him do that. And then the next day he paid off my student loans. He told me his wife shouldn’t have debt to worry about. You see, his family hadn’t wanted him to do that. They said it was my responsibility. The reason he’d hit me the day before was that we were arguing about his family always trying to tell him how he should be spending his own money.”