Dominated by Two Leopards [The Alpha Legend 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 13

  He should have told her that he was in love with her. He almost had, last night, when he’d taken her out of the dining room. The words had been right there, while they’d stood in the hallway and she’d been trying so hard not to cry. But that would have been cruel. He could make her no promises right now, and he was still amazed that she’d never asked for any. She’d simply accepted that their time together would be limited, and had given them her body, her heart, and her soul in return.

  He knew she was in love with them. She hadn’t had to say the words. It had been written on her face, and in every gesture, every longing look, and every touch. But what kind of a future could he offer her? He wasn’t even sure he and Austin would return from this mission alive. And even if they did, then what? Could he leave his home and his family? Could he leave his job?

  As Galatyn started toward home again, he tried again to find some comfort in the familiar sights and sounds, but he couldn’t. He missed the bright colors of the cedar homes in Jargonian village. He missed the snowcapped mountains framing it, and he missed the way his lungs would feel like someone had filled them with ice when he took the first few breaths outdoors each morning.

  But most of all he missed Nadine. He missed her eyes, so full of trust and love. He missed her touch, and he missed the way she’d always snuggle up to Austin in bed, yet needed his arm and leg over her body from behind as well before she fell asleep. He missed the way she’d look at them when she didn't think either of them would notice, with a mixture of lust and complete surrender. They’d fallen into such a natural, normal routine that now everything felt distorted and wrong. It wasn’t how things should be.

  Tomorrow he and Austin would go back into the field. And Galatyn had no idea what would happen. He only knew that he wanted to return to Utah and live in that charming house with Nadine, and run her uncle’s bar the way it should be run. But how could he do that? His life was here. His job was here. His entire family was here. But his heart was in Utah. It had been ever since he’d first looked into Nadine’s eyes.

  As he opened the door and put away his groceries, he shook his head again. He’d always been the one who swore he’d never fall in love. He was too strong and independent to fall under a woman’s spell that hard. And he’d been dead wrong. But the thing that surprised him more than anything was that he wasn’t upset about it. He welcomed it. He wanted to feel this way.

  But he hadn’t realized how much it would tear him up inside. He hadn’t understood that it would turn everything upside down, inside out, and would make him question his judgment in doing something that was part of his job. Something that was the right thing to do, not only for this village, but for the entire shape-shifter community.

  He was so fucked.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nadine went back to work Monday night, and in the first two hours she accidentally dropped a tray full of glasses and somehow managed to spill an entire bottle of expensive rum all over the bar. Nothing felt right. Not the country music playing from the jukebox, the smell of cigar smoke, or the dim lighting. Everything was the same as it had been since she’d last worked, but tonight it all felt wrong somehow.

  She’d never been this accident-prone or uncoordinated. It was as if her hands refused to work properly. She would normally become upset at doing such careless things, but tonight she felt nothing. She could barely work up enough emotion to mumble “sorry” to her uncle. She talked to people, like she normally did while working, but she didn’t hear what they said, and she had no clue thirty seconds later what she’d said to any of them.

  When her shift was over, she crawled into bed and slept until noon the next day. Then she did nothing all day until her shift that evening. She tried to read, as that had always been her favorite way to spend free time, but the words kept becoming bleary. Each time Austin’s or Galatyn’s face or voice tried to fill her mind, she forced away the images and sounds. If she thought about them for longer than five seconds, she’d start crying and would not be able to stop.

  It was over. They were gone. By now, they were in an undisclosed location, fighting League members, along with most of the males in the shape-shifting community. The only males in this village who had stayed behind were either too old to fight, as deemed by Gary, or they were the rare jaguars who didn’t give a shit about Gary and his troops. Most of the latter were in The Lair every night. Even Drake, Micah, and Stephen had left to join the fight.

  Valerie came over several times during the week and tried to persuade Nadine to join her and Emme for lunch, but the thought of doing that made Nadine exhausted just thinking about it, so she kept making up lame excuses why she couldn’t go. Emme showed up with Valerie on Friday morning to remind Nadine that they were still having the Winter Solstice celebration in the village square the following day, and to make sure she planned to attend.

  “How can we still have it?” she asked. “It doesn’t seem right.” Gary and his jaguars were gone. Stephen, Micah, and Drake were off fighting. Should they be having a celebration right now? “It’s morbid.”

  Emme gave her a look filled with pain and sympathy, and Nadine wanted to curl up and die. Emme knew Drake might not come back home, and Valerie knew that she might lose Stephen and Micah. “We celebrate because the earth still turns. The Winter Solstice isn’t only about this village, or the play our teens plan to put on, or about the food and drink we’ll consume. At its deepest roots, the celebrations are aimed at preparing us to survive all winter. This year, it takes on a special significance.”

  Emme sighed and took Nadine’s hands. “We have a chance to wipe out a terrible curse that has affected centuries of shape-shifters. If Gary and his troops are successful, the spring will truly be a time of renewal among our kind, such as we have never seen. It’s important that we celebrate the winter because we’re also celebrating a time of great joy and peace among our kind. That’s why we’re still having it.”

  “I understand. I’m sorry.”

  Emme shook her head before Nadine had the words out. “No. Don’t apologize. I understand how heart-broken you are. I’m afraid, too. So is Valerie. So are all of us. We all want our men to return safely.”

  Nadine appreciated Emme’s kind words, but it wasn’t the same thing. When Drake returned, Emme would have her husband and Dom back. She knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him. Valerie would have Stephen and Micah back as her Doms and mates. She would be able to settle back into a normal life with them, secure in their love for her. Nadine would never have that. How could she listen to them talk about their mates when her future would never include Austin or Galatyn?

  No matter the noble reasons why the celebration had to go on as scheduled, Nadine knew she couldn’t handle it. The Lair would be closed the next day for the celebration, and anyone who was still in the village would be there, minus one person. The only thing she wanted was to see Austin and Galatyn walk through her door, tell her that they loved her, and declare that they weren’t going back to Arizona without her, or that they were staying right here, in this village, to live with her for the rest of their lives.

  But that wasn’t going to happen. At least not outside of her dreams. And she did dream. They both filled her dreams every single night, and during the daylight hours they filled her thoughts. As often as she pushed them away, they came right back. She’d shed more tears than she could ever count.

  * * * *

  She ended up going outside on Saturday only because the celebration was so damn noisy that she couldn’t sleep. Teddi took her aside at one point and asked what was going on. “You mean you didn’t hear?”

  “I heard something about you at the dungeon with two leopards from Arizona but that was weeks ago.”

  “It was more than once.”

  “Okay. So, why have you stopped talking to everyone and look like you haven’t slept in a year?”

  Nadine studied Teddi’s face, debating. If she told her everything, Kirsten would know in less than an hour, and
then so would everyone else in the village. No. She didn’t want this spread around like the juiciest gossip in a decade.

  Plenty of people had seen her out and about with Austin and Galatyn, and more than likely they had already formed opinions. Teddi would only exaggerate what everyone already thought and blow it up into something it had never been. That wouldn’t be fair to Austin or Galatyn, and Nadine couldn’t handle hearing that kind of gossip once it got back to her. She didn’t want her memories of Austin and Galatyn tarnished by wild speculation.

  “I’m just tired. I took a couple of weeks off for the first time since I started working for my uncle, and now he’s making me pay for it.” She forced a smile, hoping her conspiratorial tone would placate Teddi’s curiosity.

  “Well, get over it soon. I miss you the way you used to be.”

  “I’ll work on it.” Teddi flounced away to join her other friends, and Nadine glanced around to see if anyone was really paying attention to her. They weren’t, so she slipped away from the crowd and walked in the frosty afternoon air toward the lake behind the Jargonian home.

  She’d always loved looking out over it from the back of the home she’d lived in for two weeks with Austin and Galatyn. It was frozen solid now, and she’d spotted Valerie out there one night ice skating with Micah and Stephen. Austin and Galatyn had said they’d find time to skate with her one day. But that would never happen now.

  She took a seat in the snow, not caring that it was so cold that her ass and her thighs would be red by the time she got home and peeled off her jeans. She should have worn ski pants, but then, she hadn’t planned on sitting down outdoors today. A coyote called, closer than she’d heard them last week. They were hungry, no doubt, so were bolder in how close they came to the village. Their mournful wail had always made her sad. Now, it sounded like a death knell.

  She hugged herself. What would happen to Austin and Galatyn out there? Where had they been sent? What if something happened to them? Nadine sucked in huge gulps of fresh air, thinking she was going to cry again, but it didn’t happen this time. She was numb inside, and wondered if she always would be. But what was she supposed to do about it? Forget them and move on? How? How could she do that? They were everything she’d ever wanted, and no one could take their place. No one.

  * * * *

  Saturday morning, one week after the celebration, Nadine woke up to a persistent pounding on her door, and was reminded of the day her grandfather had shown up at the house with Drake and the other two jaguars to tell Austin and Galatyn that it was time to go. Was he here now? Was there finally news? But if he’d come back, did that mean Austin and Galatyn had as well?

  Nadine’s heart hammered in her chest as she threw on a robe and opened the door. Her cry of delight at seeing her grandfather was cut short as she studied the look in his face. “What happened?”

  He cut his gaze toward the door to Kirsten’s apartment. “May I come in?”

  Nadine moved aside. “Of course.” With trembling fingers she closed the door behind him. “What’s wrong? Why are you back?”

  “You’d better sit down.”

  “Oh no…” She sank into the nearest chair and didn’t bother trying to stop the tears. She hadn’t cried in days, but she did now. She could barely breathe. Something had happened to them, and it was bad or he wouldn’t be here right now.

  He sat across from her and took her hands. He’d never done that, and the gesture caused her to cry harder. “They’re missing. Austin and Galatyn. No one has heard from them in four days, and the men they were with don’t know how they got separated from the group. We’re searching the area where they were last seen, but we have to be careful not to tip our hand to the remaining League members at the same time.”

  Missing. What did that mean? “I don’t understand.” She swore she heard the planet crack. They weren’t dead. They couldn’t be. They would be found. She had to keep saying that in her mind, over and over, like a mantra. If she let any other thought take over, she’d never see them alive again.

  “Austin, Galatyn, and the men they were with had seven League members cornered. Five of them were caught, but then the other two got away, and Austin and Galatyn were gone. That’s all I know. There was a lot of confusion, and the men with them simply lost track of everyone.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, and Nadine realized for the first time how incredibly tired he looked. “None of us have given up hope. Austin and Galatyn know what they’re doing, and they’re well-trained in survival techniques.”

  She pulled her hands away and wiped her tears. “How is the rest of the mission going?” She didn’t even care at this point, but there was nothing else to say right now. He’d told her all he knew. She couldn’t go to them, or try to help them, or anything. She was stuck here, waiting for news, good or bad.

  “It’s going very well. We’re almost there, Nadine. They’re almost broken for good.”

  The pride in his voice sent a wave of guilt through her. She’d never really understood her grandfather, but now, sitting across the table from him, watching him as he described in detail where and how many League members had been caught, she thought she finally got it. This was his entire life.

  “It’s been amazing,” he said. “The attacks have been so coordinated. We pulled them out of their beds, from meetings, and in some cases, right off the streets in the middle of the day. We had safe houses set up ahead of time, with holding cells. No one stood in our way or tried to stop us. Entire villages watched us, cheering, and in some cases helping.” He wiped his eyes. “I’ve never seen anything like it. This is what I’ve worked for my entire life.”

  He’d sacrificed everything for this cause. And he would die defending it if necessary. Nadine didn’t know anyone who was more dedicated. And that’s why she had to ask him to do this for her. Because only he could do it, and she realized that now. She finally realized just how powerful her grandfather was, and what he could accomplish when he put his skills to work. “Will you just promise me one thing?”

  “If I can.”

  “Promise me that you will find them. No matter what.” She had almost said “dead or alive” but she couldn’t. She would not voice those words out loud or allow them to take root in her consciousness. They were not dead.

  He gazed at her with a combination of intensity and understanding. “You fell in love with them.” It wasn’t a question, and his voice wasn’t angry or disappointed.

  “Yes.” There was no point in denying now.

  “I didn’t know that would happen.”

  “Neither did I. But it did. I didn’t plan it. It just happened, but I don’t regret it. Not one single second of it.”

  He nodded slowly, as if he was finally putting all the pieces of a puzzle together. “I will find them, but I don't know what will happen when I do. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

  “Yes. You’re telling me exactly what I’ve known all along. And you need to know this, too. They never lied to me. They never led me on and they never made empty promises. I knew from the start that my time with them was limited.”

  He frowned. “Then why? Why did you let your emotions run away like that? Help me understand.”

  “Didn’t you love Gram?”

  “Of course I did. She was my mate. But that’s different. We planned a future. We had cubs.”

  “It’s not different. Love isn’t something you plot or plan. You can’t draw it on a map, and you can’t plan a battle strategy around it. It just happens.”

  They locked gazes for a long time, and then he rose. “You’ve given me plenty of food for thought this morning, I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I have to return to Arizona.”

  She stood. “Is that where they are?”

  “They were last seen about twenty miles north of their village, in the hills near Horseshoe Reservoir.”

  “Thank you. Thank you for coming here to tell me, and for trying to understand why I was with them.”

&nbs
p; He ruffled her hair, and then he left without another word. That was the most honest conversation she’d ever had with him. Nadine stared at the closed door a long time, savoring every word that brought her hope. She would hang on to that. She had to. Because if she gave up, she’d have nothing left.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Austin threw more wood on the fire then readjusted the sleeping bag he’d unzipped and wrapped around him. It didn’t provide as much protection as a tent, but if they pitched the one they had, they wouldn’t be able to build a fire inside it. Next to him, also wrapped up in a sleeping bag and parka, Galatyn’s eyes were closed, but he doubted that his cousin was sleeping.

  “They have to be out of food and water by now.” He was referring to the two League members that he and Galatyn had trapped in a cave, about five hundred yards from where they now sat, waiting. The men were unarmed and had no provisions. Austin and Galatyn, on the other hand, had enough supplies to stay out here for at least month, and they had deer rifles. Those two weren’t getting away. They’d either surrender or die inside the cave.

  “They might be passed out,” said Galatyn. “We should check on them when the sun comes up.”

  They’d been here nearly four days, and right now they weren’t sure whether the others even knew they were still alive. The attack had been coordinated, but once the fight began, things got dicey. He and Austin got separated chasing down the two League members currently hiding out in this cave. “Getting tired of this already?”

  Galatyn rolled over and covered his head with the edge of the sleeping bag. “Yes. I want to go home.”